I met a co-worker yesterday in the employee lunchroom, there was a guy and then this black girl 6, cute, 21 yr old. I started up a conversation that would include all of us, it was something like I haven't seen any of you around here are you new? I was actually working an evening shift opposed to my normal morning shift which is the reason I haven't seen them before. The guy was new only about 2 months, while the Girl has been there about 6 months. From there I moved onto what departments they worked at, and before I knew it we all were in a conversation. A strange thing occurred those as we were getting to know each other, b-day's came up and the girl said Sept, I then said Oct, and the guy said Nov. In that order we revealed to each other, then we asked for days, and I started with 22nd, then the girl answered with the 23rd, and believe it or not the guy said the 24th.
Anyway I was changing the subject to music by taking out my phone and about to play a song from phone, when the guy had to get back to work, leaving me alone with the girl. She liked R&B and rap but I didn't have anything on my phone, although I like some of that music so I played something close to it. With the music playing I could now barely hear her when she asked me a question so I said let me move closer cause I can barely hear you now. So I sat right across from her instead of across the room like I was. The move turned out to one of the best things I could have done, in that we started having a real conversation now. It was going pretty well, and it seemed like she was interested in me, but when I did a future projection it seemed to change.
This is from what I remember how it happened:
She asked me what I was like in HS, and she mentioned she was somewhat of a tomboy
Me: "Ya I don't really see you in a frilly dress or anything"
Her: "Ya that's not really my thing"
Me: "So what would you wear if I asked you out on a date then?"
Her: She smiled bashfully, and was eating a sandwich at the time, so I caught her with her mouth full. When she was ready to speak she said "That might pose a problem, you see I have a BF"
Me: I immediately said as sincere as possible with a big smile on my face "I wasn't asking you out, I was just wondering" or something very similar to that. "Besides I don't date co-workers, it can get too messy"
Her: She said something in response to that like "oh ya I see what you mean" then continued with something like "well back to what I would wear... I'm not sure what I would wear." She was still smiling with her bashful face, I guess I took her for a surprise.
Now from what I can tell analyzing this, I would say that either I pushed it too fast, or perhaps it's the way I might have said it. We moved onto another topic after that and kept talking for quite a while before I had to get back to work. I probably should have still ended it with something like, "well you seem pretty cool" and went for a #close, but I didn't think of it at the time as someone else came in and started talking to her, leaving me out of the conversation. I knew I would see her later and did indeed see her later that night as I had to go around to all the cashiers (which she was) and collect hangers. Unfortunately when I got to her, she was on the phone, and taking care of customers. So no interaction occurred, Aside from the friendly Hi, and a smile from each of us.
1 comment:
You did a BIG no no.
Don't bring up the word "date" with a girl.
The word alone brings with it so much subtext that can immediately end any possibility of spending personal time with her.
Also, that wasn't a future projection, that was an AFC's way of asking a girl on a date without asking her on a date. It is the equivalent of asking her if she had a boyfriend. You are basically fishing to see if she has any interest in you or is available before you man up and try to make plans with her.
That was the major error of the interaction, but now we will go in order:
Was there a reason you were across the room for the first half of the interaction instead of near her?
Was there any kino?
Did you build attraction?
How long was the interaction in total?
What did you do in the interaction to DHV?
And ultimately, just because a girl is nice to you does NOT mean she is interested or available. She may very well have a boyfriend not have no intention of seeing anyone else. But, the way you said it was definately a mistake and as for pushing it too fast - that all depends on the answers to the questions above.
Also, her response to the whole date question was natural. She probably was flattered but not interested based upon the interaction and probably resulted in a DLV. Therefore going for a number close after such a question would have probably have lowered your value further because she already expressed to you in a polite way she wasn't interested and you either couldn't get the hint or you are willing to become an orbitor which is even worse.
And just so you are aware, the recovery from the whole date thing wasn't bad, but it was misplaced. You use that when you go for a number close saying you should get together some time and she brings up a boyfriend or something, this way you tell her she confused everything and you weren't asking her out on a date, which basically amounts to a last ditch effort to attempt to get the number close and move things ahead from there, but because you are the one that brought up the word date, the recovery was probably transparent to her.
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