I decided to hit up south beach yesterday instead of going to my the bookstore as it was real nice out, and wanted to change things up a bit. As far as sets went it didn't go so well, but looking at it from enjoyment I had a pretty good time alone.
I decided to carry a book with me while I was going to be walking up and down the boardwalk and perhaps stop every so often to read, or use it as an excuse why I was out there. Since I was wearing long jeans I and sneakers the beach or saying that I was there to tan was out of the question.
So I started walking towards the pier where lots of people where fishing instead of towards the food stand, I figured I would go that way on the way back, and this boardwalk is very long too.
1) The first person I talked too, actually opened me, don't get any positive ideas it was a 41 (I think) yr old man. I stopped walking to text on my phone, and he was nearby and said something like "there a pain in the ass aren't they?" I said "Ya". When I was done texting I leaned on a nearby bench to try and send out a signal, I think he re-opened then with "You can't live with em and you can't live w/o them" I laughed and said ya. I decided to talk to him as to get me in the talkative mood, and was wondering if he was doing the same. We talked a bit out the beach, and how nice it was out, and some other stuff. He finally lit a cigarette and I wanted to continue to try and find GIRLS, so I said something like it was nice meeting you and said I was going to get going.
2) I saw a cute girl maybe a 6.5 laying face down on a chair near a live band, and a person that looked to be her mom on the phone sitting down on a nearby beach to her. I wanted and should have approached her, but felt weird cause she looked a bit young and if that was her mother it would have been awkward.
3) So continuing down the pier I get to the all the fishermen and there many poles. There wasn't any girls for some reason so I leaned on the railing to take in the nice view and sea air. I decided to talk to some of the guys there fishing, and we talked well about fishing for a good while. I came here for a reason to meet and talk to people so I might as well talk to these guys. I learned quite a bit about fishing there, such as you can only keep a fish that is a certain size like at least 12"; This is so the babies can grow up and can reproduce.
4) Finally a GIRL, I was walking down back the way I came, and saw an ice cream truck and said hey I'm going to get an ice cream cone damn it, I haven't had one in years. Now somehow fate would have it that I 7.5 brown haired girl ALONE ended up walking in front of me and was getting one as well. Unfortunately the ice cream truck was about 20 feet from the live band that finally started playing. I said I would open her, but found it hard to do so while I was standing behind her. I could have said something like "So many good things to eat how to choose, and then asked what she was getting", but I never think of these kind of things at the appropriate time. She actually got her cone and sat down on the bench nearby, where I sat down next to her after I got my cone. I opened with Kate Perry, then transitioned to what brought her there today. She said she was with her cousins and waiting for them or something, she then kind of turned away of me, and just licked her ice cream. I felt it went dead, that and I had a brain fart couldn't think of anything to say, in fact I only did the girl part of the routine. So it was short, but at least I talked to a girl while I was there.
After that I walked back to the entrance where I came from and sat down on a bench while I tried to think of what I wanted to do next. I really didn't want to walk up and down the boardwalk anywhere, and was enjoying the cool breeze and view from the bench. At some point that girl I opened passed by talking on the phone alone, guess she wasn't with cousins... I actually staying sitting for almost 45 minutes, just relaxing, and there was a cool breeze so regardless of wearing long pants and a dark shirt I was actually very comfortable.
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3 comments:
First things first, please check your spelling and grammar. Sometimes it is very difficult and confusing to read your posts if you do not spend a minute or two to proof read it.
You do not need to justify why you are on the beach. You can be there just to be there. If you feel that you need to justify yourself to someone you are putting yourself in a place of lower value in relation to the other person.
Number 2:
Do not have an expectations or attachments to any particular outcomes. If you are looking at the girl thinking to yourself that you want to have sex with her and that is why your approaching, of course it will be awkward in your mind with her mother sitting there and there existing a question about her age, however if you are just approaching to be social with no expectations then it does not matter if that is her mother or if she is underage, you are merely being a social person. You need to get over the issue with girls looking too young. If you talk to a girl and find out she is too young, it is no big deal at all, just eject.
Number 4:
I think it is time you started moving away from the Kate Perry Routine. You have field tested it extensively and the results have not been satisfactory. Try to begin working with situational openers and direct openers. You cannot get good at situational openers unless you begin to use them.
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Yummy Stale Bread
A Journey to Social Mastery
www.yummystalebread.com
1) I blogger tells me if I spell anything wrong, grammar is another thing though, which I'll try to work on.
2) It's not a matter of justification it's conversation topic. If I ask what brings them there, most likely they will then ask me.
3) I know I have to get past this age issue, and not holding any expectations to any interactions.
4) True I do try and make situational openers when I can think of any. This is something I've been working on, with the fall back of what I know. Like I said in the blog itself I thought of some things I could have said about the ice cream girl which would have been situational, but all too late I'm afraid.
5) Yes I field tested my Kate Perry Routine, and to say that it hasn't been satisfactory is wrong. The main reason I have gotten mixed results in the past is the way I have been approaching in general. Remember it's not what you say, it's how you say it.
BTW TY for the useful comments, always appreciated and welcome.
3) If you had no expectations or attachments to the outcome, there would be no issue about the girls age.
4)Look at what they are doing and why they are doing it. Talk to them about that or something else in their environment.
5)"it is not what you say, but how you say it" is a general guideline, but it is not absolute. I do not feel that the opinion opener is really hooking the sets. You are getting them to respond, but the way the question is phrased is really just a yes or no question followed up by another yes or no question.
The second part of the opener also may have the unintended consequence of giving the set the impression that you are talking about yourself and are looking for their opinion on your actions.
And lastly, you keep stalling out after the opener. This is a common issue with opinion openers and it is obviously one you are facing. Yes the set will open, but then what? The transition question you have been using about bars is not working. It seems too disjointed from the opener, there is no natural flow.
If you rely on your opener as a default if your mind goes blank, you will never move past it. You will always go to what feels most comfortable. Drop it completely, or at least alternate it. One day go out and only use situational, the next use the opinion opener. On the day you are doing only situational openers, do not bring up the opinion opener at all, even as a back up. You should get better results.
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