1) Ah the first set of the day, it actually didn't go bad, I know now that I ended it too early and made some other mistakes like talking about her BF. So anyway, she was an 8.5 redhead named Erika. We started off sitting on the opposite sides of the car on the SIR (Staten Island Railroad).
Me: Opened, "Where you going?" She couldn't hear me because we were far apart, so I picked up my backpack and moved to sit right next to her, and repeated myself.
Her: "Meeting up with my BF in Brooklyn"
Me: "Oh thats cool, how long have you guys been together?
Her: "3 yrs"
Me: "So you guys planning on having kids soon?"
Her: With a big smile, "I don't know"
Me: At this point I said something like, I know that the urge is harder when your together longer and longer (It was stupid I know) In my head I was thinking of how to nicely say "Well your biological clock is running out, shouldn't do something". I got off that topic, and asked her if she lived around here, she said ya. I told her where I was from, and like a stop later I decided to bail. It's not the best way but it's kind of my failsafe system "Well this is my stop", and I get off and move to he car behind. She replied with another big smile "Well it was nice meeting you". Somewhere in that converstation we shook hands when we introduced our names and she mentioned that her BF had the same name as mine (Know clue WTF I responded with). I should mention that I should never use that as a bail ever again, because we were pretty much going the same direction for a while. When we got to the ferry I saw her walking ahead of me, and I carefully avoided being seen.
2)This one didn't so well, I walked back and forth, up and down the floors of the ferry boat looking for any single sets. Of coarse I saw Erika during my travels but I know she didn't see me, and I avoided where I knew she was sitting. So I finally saw this one girl sitting alone, and approached, she was in a suit, about a 7 black hair.
Me: Opener, "So Where you going?"
Her: "To work" With a very uninterested expression.
Me: "So what do you do?"
Her: "Real Estate"
Me: "Oh thats cool, isn't the market really bad now?"
Her: "It is, but not for the city"
Me: I felt it was really going no where fast, and she was so not into it, so I started taking out my head phones and PSP to listen to some music. But in the mean time I was trying to think of anything else to say, but nothing came to mind. During that time she took out her phone and called someone. After I got set up, I got up, and said "Nice meeting you", but if she heard me she didn't acknowledge it.
3)This one went really well. After leaving from that last girl I headed downstairs and onto the front of the boat to get some fresh air and enjoy the view. I saw Lauren, a 7 blonde wearing a green tang top shirt outside. Our converstation lasted pretty much that whole ferry ride (at least 20 min), so I don't remember a lot of it, but here is kinda how it went.
Me: Opener, "Aren't you cold?" Now I was a bit chilly and I had a short sleeve shirt on. I figured she was freezing, but she wasn't.
Her: "No, I'm fine"
Me: "So where you headed?"
Her: "South Street Seaport to do some shopping" I think she asked me how about me.
Me: I said where I was going, we talked about how she moved back Florida, I told her about AZ, She's graduating in 2 weeks to become a teacher (WTF is with all the teachers?) Anyway I mentioned and kinda kidded around you must really like kids, she said ya, and I said something like "It's a shame how you don't get a lot as a teacher".
I tried to #close when we got really close to docking, but I fucked it up. This is sort of how it went.
Me: "Well you seem pretty cool" (There was a .5 second pause to my next line)
Her: something like "O ya?" and she was laughing
Me: "We should hang out some time."
Her: Something on the lines of "I don't know" or "I really can't"
Me: "Why not?" I mentioned something afterwards on the lines of "I don't really have anyone to hang with on SI, where she is living.
Not sure what happened after that, she was smiling the whole time, but we kind of moved on. I know now that I should have just continued with something like "Let me see your phone" and hand your my phone and saying "Lets exchange #'s". But I guess I gave up too easy :( I'm 99% sure I could have #closed her. We shook hands one more time before departing saying "it was nice meeting you".
So I finally made my way to Union Square, got something to eat, and looked around the park not seeing anyone, and went to the 4 story bookstore. I got there around 1:30 and already I was feeling a bit tired, although I had plenty of sleep the night before. Enter the Bookstore (Where the rest of these took place)
4)Blonde 7 sitting on floor reading.
Me: Opener, "You look comfortable"
Her: I think it was on the lines of "Ya kinda" She looked borderline happy, but still a bit upset, prolly cause I interrupted her reading.
Me: "So what are you reading?"
Her: "A cookbook"
Me: "Oh thats cool, Have you learned anything interesting?"
Her: Don't remember wtf she said, I think it was "no, not really"
I don't remember much after that, but I know I kinda walked away after that.
5)Another girl sitting down reading, 7 black hair
Me: Opener, "You look comfortable"
Her: I think it was on the lines of "Ya kinda" She looked happy though and was smiling up at me.
Me: "So what are you reading?"
Her: I don't remember is she said anything or just held up the book for me to see, it was called "Thank you for smoking" I've heard of this book, but not sure what it was about, she had just started reading it her self.
Me: "So are you trying to stop smoking or starting?"
Her: Don't remember wtf she said, I think it was "no"
Me: "Have you learned anything interesting?"
Her: "Well I just started it so not yet, but it looks interesting"
Me: No clue where I went from there, I might have said something like, are you from around here? I think she nodded. I sort of walked on the side of her continuing to pretend looking at the books like I was doing as I approached her, and all the girls there for the most part. I may have said "It was nice meeting you", I just couldn't think of anything to say and I started feeling my energy level just depleting from me like someone stuck a hole in my energy level tank.
6)Now I'm not sure if I started slacking my approach, if it was my energy level, or whatever but things really started going downhill from here. Blonde 7
Me: Opener ("Hey, how's it going?")
Her: I might have gotten a hi, she was texting at the time while standing in front of a bookshelf that I saw her looking at.
Me: "So what brings you hear today"
Her: With the some disgusted look on her, face and giving me that look of are you a fucking it? "Uh, Books"
Me: "Well what kind of books?"
Her: "Microsoft / computer books, my computer is broken and I'm trying to fix it"
Me: I wanted to tell her to just go to like the geek squad or something, or perhaps don't try it yourself if you don't know wtf your doing. But I remember from past experiences that I shouldn't say shit like that. So all I could get out was "Thats Cool". There was some dead silence for a bit, and then I said "So you live around here?"
Her: "Ya" and looks at me all weird again.
Me: "I'm from SI", she just flat out walked away after that, not saying a word.
7) I might as well just copy and paste #6 because it was pretty much the same shit. Black hair 7, sitting on floor reading what looked like a CD, but I'm sure it was a book. This was in the New Age Section
Me: Opener
Her: Looks up, there might have been a smile, "Hi"
Me: "So what are you reading?"
Her: No response, just continues to look down reading.
Me: Saying with a smile "I don't bite" (I might have said "Ya know" at the end of that)
Her: Gets up, and walks away.
8)This was yet another 7 with black hair. She was reading some magazine, I came up from her side.
Me: Opener
Her: Turns to look at me, then back to her magazine.
Me: "So what ya reading?"
Her: Shakes here head back and forth while still reading.
Me: "Nothing?"
Her: No response
At this point it was beyond over, So I saw an interesting magazine in front of me, I picked it up, thumbed through, then just left.
So things aren't going well, I'm getting even more tired than I was, I have been taking breaks here and there writing between some of these girls, and reading from my book waiting for the store to refresh itself. So i really think that it must be something that I'm doing or how I'm coming up to there. But I'm not sure.
9)I saw this girl coming up from one of the escalators, I might have already been on that floor, and I saw her stop at some book on a table. Blonde 7.5 with really shiny glasses that covered more than her eyes, She also had headphones on.
Me: Opener
Her: "Hi" With a smile
Me: I'm already thinking that I may finally have an actually conversation with someone, but I shouldn't have asked this question "So what are you reading?" I saw her just pick up the book, and was just looking at it, she wasn't reading it she didn't have time to know wtf it was.
Her: She showed me the book, it was called "Making the cut"
Me: "So what's it about?"
Her: "I don't know"
Me: "Well it looks like some kind of fitness book"
Her: "Ya"
Me: "Well ti don't seem like you need it" I knew after the words left my mouth wtf I did, I gave her an IOI w/o earning it, and it was wrong to say.
Her: "TY, well I'm looking for a friend"
Me: I think there was some kind of dead silence, cause I was trying to think of something else to say... "So what are you listening too?"
Her: "Sublime"
Me: "Oh thats a pretty cool band" I was about to ask what song it was, although I only know a few of them.
Her: Gives me a big smile and says "Have a nice day"
Me: I was confused on exactly wtf happened and where I went wrong, so I just got out Ok... and walked down the escalator.
I was down there like 1/2 hour, I was sitting on one of the few chairs they have in that place, and noticed her coming from the escalator, I was thinking to myself I think I'm going to go up to her and ask her WTF did I do wrong, and see if I could get any feedback at all, why the hell not? I already blew it, WTF was she going to do run away this time? I though for a while, and decided to check downstairs for some girls. So I waited like another 15 minutes, and decided to check, I saw her and Re-approached.
Me: "Hey" with a big smile, like it's me again.
Her: "Hi..."
Me: "I wanted to ask you a quick question. In your honest opinion was it my approach that threw you off or something?
Her: "No, your approach was fine" She was smiling
Me: "Ok, well I was just trying to get some kind of feedback.
Her: "No No, your approach was fine"
I was hoping that I would get a little more information than that, as now I was confused on where the fuck I messed up. If it wasn't my approach where the hell did I fuck up with those other girls? or was only the approach with this girl that was fine? I have no clue, I left that place after that, and headed towards the RSD Workshop, it was 5 at this point, so I was there like 3 1/2 hours.
3 comments:
1. There is nothing wrong with saying It was nice talking to you and leaving the car and going into another, but do not lie and tell them this is your stop and then get off. Get out of the habit of lying. Just don’t do it at any point.
2. Horrible opening and then turning it into an interrogation. Tisk, Tisk. They should send you to Guantanamo Bay to see what you can get out of those evil terrorizers. Don’t open with a question like “where are you going?” She doesn’t know you and it comes off as creepy.
3. Opener was fine, good transition. Don’t ask for her itinerary. You already asked where she is going, don’t then ask what she is doing after, it is too needy, hence the boyfriend response. Don’t say we should go someplace sometime if you don’t mean it. Wherever you are trying to time bridge to, make sure it is something that would really interest her and she would really want to do. You seem pretty cool and we should hang out some time should not have a pause in between and should not come off as a question. It is a statement. Then exchange contact information.
4. If you feel hostility, destroy it with kindness. Just be very friendly. She is reading a cookbook. Why is she reading a cookbook? Does she normally cook? Is her full extent making toast and pop tarts and she is branching out? Is she looking to cook something specific? Be curious! Use what she gives you and explore it.
5. If you do not know what the book is about, ask her what it is about. I know your starting or stopping smoking comment was an attempt at humor, but if it is not related to the context of what she is reading, it may not be received the right way. Always find out what the book is about if you do not know, keep away from yes or no questions. By asking open ended questions, she will become more invested in the interaction.
6. Fuck her (and not in a pleasant way either).
7. Fuck her too.
8. You don’t have to really pause between “Hey, how’s it going?” and “What are you reading?” I’m not too thrilled with the results you are getting with this one, so I’m going to modify it for you. If they are actually reading something, then say to them that you just had to come over and find out what they were reading since they were so absorbed in it.
9. When she said she was looking for a friend, I personally would have responded, “in a book? That is going to be a very one sided friendship if you ask me.” Anyway, your approach wasn’t fine. You know it from your own report of it. She just was entertaining you for a moment.
I just realized something. Perhaps you did not realize this from my approach reports on my blog, but I don't normally say "where are you headed" right after I say my opening line. An opener may last for a couple of minutes depending on what the opener is. I just use the transition to get away from the opening topic. But saying, "Hey, how's it going?"..."Where are you headed?" Just sounds weird. Do a cold read or ask a question in between and then use that as a real transition :-)
Ok first off I think I should clarify something, when I said #) Opener, something here. Where Opener is, is same opener I have used for all of them that I mentioned at the top "Hey, How's it going?" The the follow up question / comment.
1)Yes lesson already learned, bad shyguy for lying
3)I didn't as for a daily itinerary, it just came up during the conversation, I don't think I was needy at all in that entire conversation.
4)I tried to explore it as much as my mind would allow.
5)I did ask her what it was about, she said that she don't know she just started reading it.
6)7) I was trying too :P
8)Hehe, your not thrilled by the results how do you think I feel :)
9)I'll have to remember that friend comment for later.
No you didn't clarify that it wasn't back to back in those statements. That could be why I'm getting such mixed results.
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